The Greatest Gift My Therapist Gave Me

One of THE best tools I gained 5 years ago from my therapist is “Stay On Your Side of the Net”. This idea really boggled my mind for awhile but it literally changed my life. It’s very much core to what I talked about in yesterday’s post about you having the power to change your life.

Staying on your side of the net is staying focused on what YOU can control. It’s about owning your feelings, behaviors, reactions, and environment. And learning to let go of other people’s feelings, behaviors, reactions, and environments. It’s knowing what is yours and what not. ⁣

And this applies to all things, from business to relationships to love to your children. ⁣

Here’s a simple example. I used to always get really caught up in sending emails and messages to people. And before sending, I would already be thinking about what they might think, what their reaction will be, what they might think of me, what they already prob do think of me, and how what I want, need, or am asking for may be perceived. I often assumed the worst. I’d go so far down the line and create scenarios in my mind that I’d end up getting stuck.😞

Then my therapist would be like “Stay on your side of the net” and I’d be like “what the fuck does that mean?”. But every time I would do shit like this she would remind me to stay in my side of the net. I clearly couldn’t see what I was doing for a long time because to me it seemed perfectly reasonable to be wondering, even stressing about these things.⁣

But what it actually did was have me exert and waste energy on things I couldn’t control. And it often had me over analyzing myself to a point where I wasn’t trusting myself. I was more worried about how I’d be perceived or the possible repercussions of saying what I need or want rather than just being who I am.⁣

When you accept you who you truly are, you can accept that you have your shit but people’s reactions or feelings to you are theirs, NOT YOURS. Real talk, how often have you quieted yourself or hesitated out of fear of what someone else will think or respond?⁣😒

When you stay on your side of the net & you stay in your power! 👊🏽✊🏽🌺 Learn to be good with that!